[Sunday, June 13, 2004]
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Haha probably just got retribution for all the times I ever said anything bad to anyone just cos I was in a temper (I hope tt's all the retribution to come tho I probably still have a good bit more stored up somewhere waiting to strike me one day huh ^_^") Literally have a sour taste in my mouth (half cos I didn't leave my comp to drink any water, etc. for 2 hrs) after listening to 2 of my old friends vent separately... It isn't very fun to have mud slung in your face cos u're in the middle trying to mediate the situation...heh but I'm surprised at how I took it considering I'd probably have erupted back at them in the past after half of it ^_^"" I'm surprised I only got mildly upset after 2 hrs of it...esp since I thought I've been rather irritable recently o_O Haha it was a little eerie/ironic too since one of my aunts just told me (in Chinese) at my cousin's wedding on Tuesday that if there's one thing she learned through all the years of her life, it's "ren3" (endure); and also cos I just read that if there's one thing to be learnt in life, it's "what can be endured, must be endured" (tho I suppose what "can be endured" varies according to how firm ur grip on ur temper is) in a novel yesterday night. The things pple can reveal to each other/say to each other sometimes when they're distracted by emotion are...surprising...to say the least... I guess still waters run very deep. Whatever; tho I'm glad at least the waters aren't so murky anymore - at least some fairly important things got communicated through to both sides...

Is it better to attempt to reason with someone when they dun want to be reasoned with or to nod sympathetically? I always thought that reason was the answer and tt nodding sympathetically without addressing the problem wouldn't ultimately help the matter if there was sth to be solved. Strange how changing tack made the horse arrive at the finishing line instead... (Thanks for the suggestion PL) Haha sometimes with friends u get more than enough trouble anyone ever needs...what do u need enemies for? :P

Sian Portugal just lost 2-0 to Greece.

Haven't replied to comments in a while...sorry guys/girls not in the mood tonight. Will try to b4 I leave =)

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 2:15 AM]


[Sunday, May 23, 2004]
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I realise I overuse the ^_^ face...with my usage it sometimes means too many different things and is hardly a reflection of my mood, thoughts, or even actual facial expression in front of the screen. A suitably...ambiguous...emoticon. ^_^

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 12:15 AM]




Many ages ago, a horse (Horse for simplicity's sake) lived in a bucolic meadow where a swift river skirted its eastern edge, with nary a care in the world beyond a full stomach, freedom to run, and a fine vista of stars to admire every other night. One sunrise, while it drunk from the river's edge, to its surprise and the muttering of an elf lord from across the river, a freak flash flood (in which the wavefronts looked strangely like elves astride phantom horses) swept it from its feet into the dark, churning water, carrying it beyond return into distant lands. Horse awoke to find itself lying on the banks of a strange, unfamiliar pasture, with the evening sun silhouetting the lush grass in shades of gold and yellow. Looking around in wonder as it shakily got to its feet, Horse felt a rumbling deep in its stomach. Glancing down at the verdant grass hungrily, Horse thought deeply (as far as the equine ampulla of Vater) for a moment. To eat, or not to eat, that is the question...without a doubt, this was not its pasture. What would the grass taste like...would it taste the same? Should it start eating? What if the pasture belonged to some other horse? What if it started eating and could never return to its old meadow, if it were possible? Horse stood frozen in the rapidly waning light, wracked by indecision.

Went swimming w C today - my first exercise in a long time. It feels good to exercise...which makes me realise I'm a lazy guy considering the pool/gym is just downstairs... ^_^" But it's even better to just spend time with old friends and talk...u can talk abt anything w/o worrying u'll say the wrong thing, u have more to talk abt; u dun even have to talk to feel comfortable. Much of what we talked abt can be reduced essentially to the above story anyway, as unrelated as diff things are... Played DND: Shadows over Mystara with him after that at home...shiok ah. Reminds me of old days in class/tech labs/lib in TCHS, in the HC library, at ZY's house, etc... Tho I missed a chance to do sth tt I felt needed to be done. By the time I get another opportunity it might (ah probably will) be too late. Hope things will still be fine, even so...ah well no sense kicking myself over might have beens. =) Done's done. Ahaha then why do I still feel a sense of regret? Wonder which choice tt could be reflected as...having started eating, or trying to find a way back to the old pasture. Hmm ^_^ Heck...

Btw this story is wholly unrelated to the previous one (still no inspiration) which is wholly unrelated to anything...was just many disparate events/pple written together :P But yah if anything, could say Pandaren was in a way me...my GB nick's Pandaren, my fav WC hero is the Pandaren Brewmaster, and I think pandas are cute and unique looking bears anyway ^_^

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 12:06 AM]


[Friday, May 07, 2004]
~*~


Hello...heh I'm here to talk crap ^_^ I have the urge to blog crap now that SSM is over, but not to update the blogskin or even the left column, so if u dun want to read crap then...well it's too late to leave, since u've been reading crap if u've read this far already =p

Ah anyway to cut (some of) the crap, let me tell a story...There once was a Panda named Pandaren living an idyllic and peaceful life on the isle of Nerad Nap. Pandas, u see, were not just your usual cute, furry, white and black endangered bears - they were...Pandas. Capable of, and enjoying, lobbing pebbles at each other through bamboo shoots, they frequently engaged in stylised, ritualistic games called "Gunbound matches" involving reducing each others' (or of the opposing team members) "HP" (a mystical meaningless value usually arbitrarily assigned as 1000) to zero, upon which they would receive "GP" and "GOLD" (2 more meaningless imaginary parameters given value by Pandas) to hoard assiduously.

Now Pandaren spent his days as a model citizen of Pandadom after passing the First Professional Panda Exams, honing his skills daily and striving to improve at the meaningless ritual of "Gunbound". But alas, these days were not to last long. Conscripted into the regimental PAF (Pandadom Armed Forces) to do his duty to the nation, Pandaren now spent his time under the auspices of the SSM (a mad bureau of researchers in the PAF) wandering aimlessly from tree to tree lobbing pebbles at shadows (where his training finally became of use) in an attempt to research how many mosquitoes could be brought down in an average pebble shot. As part of this research, he was forced to consume anti-malarial pills to see if it would make his fur turn pink, and forwent the beloved long-held tradition of daily "Gunbound" rituals and harmonica cleaning.

Now you'd think Pandaren was resigned to shooting mosquitoes for the rest of his Panda life...but as luck would have it, a chance encounter one day changed his fate...

One fine day, (duh) trudging down the forest path on all fours as usual, Pandaren let his mind wander, and without noticing soon found himself lost in the tangled undergrowth. Unperturbed, he plodded steadily forth, eating his way through the foliage despite non-bamboo flora not really being his taste. As he slowly made his way forward deeper into the forest, a sudden sharp, prickly sensation shot up his leg. Lifting up his leg, he saw - to his surprise - a porcupine embedded in his tender paw. Yowling in pain, he glared at the hapless porcupine rudely awoken from its slumber. "What are you doing lying in the middle of the path?" he asked. "Huh? I dunno I really dun know...." replied the porcupine, still hazy with sleep. "Grrr...I thought no porcupines were allowed in this encampment?" said Pandaren, shifting from one foot to the other to accomodate the large, spiky porcupine currently hanging from his paw. So saying, he set the porcupine down carefully, and exclaimed "Well, since I'm injured, help me find a way out of this encampment so I can go home!"

Blinking, the porcupine retorted with a snort. "Something tells me I should charge you $270 for disturbing my sweet dreams...but since I'm a kind soul, let's forget about it. Follow me!" Turning sharply, the porcupine trundled off into the undergrowth with nary a rustle, forcing Pandaren to hurry after it. Lost in the forest, the porcupine and Panda wandered for hours before bursting through the last of the undergrowth to emerge in a vast field of brown rice, golden-brown stalks rippling in the warm breeze as far as the eye could see in all directions.

To be continued... (my way of saving my face cos I dunno how to continue this nonsensical story =p)

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 11:24 PM]


[Saturday, May 01, 2004]
~*~


Wah so long since I blogged that I dun even know how to start/write properly already. Been thru 3 attempted starts then I decided tt admitting lack of knowledge on how to blog's the best way to blog. Ah, since I can't think of a proper way to start and I'm supposed to go meet the 4Oceans now I'll just stop here first and try to think of how to blog during dinner... :p To Be Continued.


Most ridiculous blog entry I've ever written ^_^"

P.S. For a moment I forgot my blogger username... o_O

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 7:02 PM]


[Tuesday, January 20, 2004]
~*~


Hmm Happy Chinese New Year ^_^ By a stroke of luck (and Priya's enterprise) anat tutorial's shifted to next wk so there's no need to go sch tmr... :> On other notes, CA7's over and it wasn't difficult...

Went back to HC today for the first Mediquiz teaching session...it's a refreshing experience to teach other pple in this manner - you have to know ur stuff, so u don't end up giving other pple the wrong info or not knowing enough to teach them...not to mention that both would be rather embarrassing ^_^" Thinking back, I admire our seniors for looking so confident and knowing their stuff well...hope I can live up to their example. It's a good chance to revise stuff we've studied b4 too...grin it's beneficial for everyone I suppose ^_^


A few days ago, a friend commented to me that I can be "quite condescending sometimes", the remark stemming from me praising her for knowing sth I didn't. I meant what I said, just tt I guess she took it differently... =/ Today, I commented to a friend abt another friend's intellectual capability...disparagingly, and I meant it too. -_-"" (I'm being purposefully vague, dun ask who they are for both incidents) Which then makes me wonder abt my own attitude...since when did I gain the right to be high and mighty and look down on other pple? I dun doubt tt it's at least partially true, given tt it's not just one incident or one person mentioning it, and tt my actions certainly seem remiss upon hindsight. Zzz...I know not how to put it, but in a nutshell, I feel bad, which is why I'm typing this. Given that every person I meet and know is my superior in one way or another, what right do I have to criticise other pple or look down on them in any way? Have I forgotten that, or have I become a blind, arrogant #*&#*$&#()$? :(

I know of at least one New Year resolution: to be more humble...

Oh and to be more punctual too. The left column's updated. I guess I deserve a few good kicks huh. ^_^"

**replies**

jiat: Haha nah...I wrote the entry last last Friday after the campfire, just didnt put it up until Monday. Yah I know...need to shape up and be less blur from now on :p

cute_girl: Tnet's enough la ;) Gunbound on top of that would be...tough to handle ^_^" Haha I havent really played this year yet anyway...getting weaned off GB. :)

eN!L: I think so too... ^_^""" thanks for the kick too :P

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 9:46 PM]


[Monday, January 12, 2004]
~*~


Merry Xmas, and Happy New Year too...my inaugural entry this year in my sadly underutilised blog. :P

Rough update on interesting things recently:

Went for dinner and HC's orientation campfire last Friday night w 4O. (cos I was sick of mugging)

Took the wrong bus for the 2nd time in less than a year...w new glasses o____o Last year it was mistaking 970 for 67, this time 177 for 67...which I inadvertently discovered, takes you to MINDEF -__________-"" Thought I'd never have to visit that place again at least for the next 5 years or so, only to end up on the only bus that does go there...hmm suay ah =p Luckily I managed to change bus to 970 and ended up only 5 min late to meet my friends for dinner. Huh...is it tt I'm cockeyed or blur or what? I could have sworn I was on the right bus, yet still ended up on the wrong bus to somewhere like MINDEF... So what if I leave a scalpel inside an incision next time even though I think I removed it? o___O""" Sheesh...I doubt anyone else at this age still makes this kind of mistake. (pls tell me if you do, might make me feel better :P)

Anyway besides me doing sth stupid like tt, the main point of the evening was going back to HC for the campfire; and ending up being bored...to the extent of discussing finding stupid things to do like act dumb, shout "fire!" and attempt to put out the campfire, or stand in a line behind the campfire/performers (w the whole audience facing you) and do stupid stuff, or (for Alvin to do) run up and grab the ball the performers were playing with then sprint off (he'd probably get quite far b4 anyone could catch him) - well yeah, you can tell how sian we were from the AA/dumb/crazy ideas we were contemplating.

Somehow you just feel rather out of place on such occasions nowadays...the pple you knew are gone and replaced by a sea of fresh faces engaged with their own concerns, the places you knew are changed and gone...what you once knew exists only in your memories now and not even in the exact same way in the memories of others - and you don't really belong anymore. Ironically, happy memories somehow gain a tinge of sadness when you realise tt however happy they were, they remain merely as events in your memory which fade as time passes by. I wonder if I'll feel this way abt my life when I grow old? To recall pple, places, and events of a bygone year with the realisation that they are forever more in the past. I have this theory that that's one of the reasons old pple are sad/go crazy or become senile, besides the obvious normal facts that their close ones are dropping like flies one by one and they're often left behind/neglected, their brains suffer degeneration as they grow old, and their bodies start failing. Perhaps it would be a kinder mercy for some to send their consciousnesses into the recesses of their minds, back to forgotten times and places where they once were happier. Shrug I wouldn't know for sure, considering I haven't ever had much contact w the elderly, rather ashamed to say. (My grandparents all died b4 I was born, and whenever I have opportunity e.g. during CIP, most of the time I can't communicate beyond things like "Ah Po, li ho bo?" Lousy man ^_^"") Perhaps when I'm old huh I'll know huh? That is if I haven't forgotten this theory by then...

Other interesting things...I haven't even played 1 hr of Gunbound yet this year :> (I succumbed to half hr or so some days ago) Tho I've begun playing Tetrinet again after a 1 year hiatus (corrupting a number of other medical pple to play too, and in the process of corrupting more ;))

School's started again and there's a CA this Saturday...Celebrate!! -____-

Finally getting to read "Notes from an even Smaller Island" by Neil Humphrey courtesy of Pei Lin...damn funny guy. About the only day of the week I read the family's free copy of Today with any consistency is Saturday when there's his weekly talk crap column...hehe ^_^

I might not have to quit kendo after all...there's a guy recovering from a shoulder injury putting his unused bogu up for sale at only ard $500 odd. With any luck, I'll be able to continue for at least this semester (my reason for not buying the ard $900 armour and quitting, cos I doubt I'll be able to continue kendo during 2nd year onwards)

side note: continue ignoring the very unupdated side column, will update after CA. Someone pls kick me if I don't.

***

Replies

N-de: huh...delete D2 man ^_^ get Tetrinet instead!

Anonymous: ??? I suppose asking who you are won't do any good...thought I was the one supposed to be Anonymous...? Hehe hmm.

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[posted by Deepblue at 11:11 PM]


[Monday, December 22, 2003]
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5 things for the night

1) I'm sick of my cooking (if you can call it that)... o_O lucky my parents are back tmr/Xmas dinner w OG is tmr
2) Gunbound isn't working...ARGH...irritating.
3) I skipped the revision lecture today cos I overslept z________z
4) Looking at Yuyi's photos of Spain and Portugal now...very nice. Hehe yet another place to visit someday...if that someday will ever come
5) Suffering Gunbound withdrawal symptoms o_O

~*~

[posted by Deepblue at 10:46 PM]




::. ABOUT ME .::

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of..."
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

[Alias]
Joseph Lim Suan Seng

[Age]
19

[Past...]
Innocent little brat, ex-MBPSian, ex-Chinese High boy, ex-Hwachongian, ex-NSF

[Present...]
Not-so-innocent big brat in NUS

[Future...] (December)
1) Mug harder and stay afloat in med sch
2) Be more humble and uncritical
3) Learn to be nicer and more appreciative
4) Be punctual, prompt, even early
5) Be nicer to my friends and family
6) Pay more attention to things and dun be blur
7) Play piano/harmoc every now and then
8) Learn driving
9) Sleep before 12 everyday!
10) Be more discerning

[Likes]
Friends, music, fantasy, reading, basketball, RPGs, anime, talking crap, looking at the sky, thinking, LAG-ging

[Contact]
ICQ: 7116852
Comments: e-mail

::. MY GUESTBOOK .::

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