[Tuesday, August 26, 2003]
Finally blogging again...no real excuse for not having blogged for the past 2 wks, to be honest.
Jos: Huh...sch's just started what. I've been busy for the past 2 wks settling into sch...where got time to blog?
Eph: Go die...what abt wkends? When u're happily taking some time out to slack? Or those few hours u used to play Warcraft?
Jos: ... -_-" Okok, I admit...just didn't feel like blogging...didn't want to express my thoughts...
Eph: Then why are you blogging now?
Jos: Hmm...cos I feel like writing now? Not happy that you have to help me think of what to write huh.
Eph: *BEEP* What makes you think I should?
Jos: So *BEEP* rude. Shuddup and blog...
Ok la seriously though sch has been pretty busy. Somehow starting serious mugging on the 1st day of sch is not my idea of great fun ^_^" but I'm doing it anyway, and to my surprise sticking with it... Why? Perhaps cos what we're learning now is actually interesting and will be applicable for a lifetime as a doctor. You get to learn abt the infinitesimal subtle workings of the human body, its intricate complexities and dangerous frailties (try functioning for a day without using ur thumb :P)
Though studying it makes you weird...or perhaps it's just that I'm trying to mug too hard and am burning myself out huh? o_O I agree with the professors, "Medicine is an art and a science." The actual practice of medicine aside, I believe that refers to the study of medicine too... for now I appreciate the simple things in life more: standing in the cascading rain and watching the scatter of droplets, trying to observe the raindrops in motion to test my neural reflexes (I know, goondu in action) until the security guard hollers at me to get off the road and I do before Snell (anat txtbk) gets wet; marvelling at the simple, clean action of leaping into the air and releasing a snap shot at the basket in one fluid motion at the twilight of the jump (I try n miss, other pple score). At the same time the study of medicine has changed former, simple aspects of my life: now besides marvelling at the complexity behind a simple basketball shot I also end up trying to do a scientific analysis of which muscles power the motion, their innervation, blood supply, and attachments -___-" honestly *BEEP*ing stupid to do that but it keeps popping up in my head... hahaha or worse, while admiring things like a beautiful pair of eyes or a nice pair of legs (obviously as a heterosexual male I admire the female form, look under "Interests" for proof) dry clinical details like "eyes? optic and occulomotor nerves. Ahh, look, biceps femoris...nice gastrocnemius, slender calcaneus too...eh what's the innervation again?" pop up unpleasantly *_*
Dun ask me why I didn't start thinking this way during Mediquiz last time...maybe it's just cos I never studied so hard/in depth for it, nor had as much interest in it then as now...heh ok bottom line of the above para of crap is tt my attitudes n mindsets have changed from now as compared to before and will continue to be warped by medical sch ^_~" I suppose uni is a time of change and growing after all...so many new things to assimilate, new influences, new friends... can only hope won't change for the worse... (or even worse end up corrupting other pple...*cough* =p) N what i really want along the way is not to lose the friends I have or had simply cos our lives are now going in different directions. Hmm true friendship should stand the test of time? Hope so...remember CSQ's comment some time back abt being very happy at 50 if any of us (4Oceans) are still his frens - I agree... (of cos not just w reference to 4Oceans =)) though I know it's impossible for everyone to remain the same way...pple inevitably drift apart or closer in the currents of life... Sian...but it'd be ridiculous to assume pple wont ever drift apart... Still, to all the pple I once knew but drifted apart from...thanks. Thanks for being a part of my life...for providing all those moments which are precious and serve to shine through in the hourglass of life when the sands of time obscure what once was.
Jos: Ok enough blogging...was going to blog more but dun feel like it anymore today.
Eph: Huh really ah? Spend so much time thinking only write so little...
Jos: Not happy? Not happy go toilet fight... (4O pple will understand... ^_^)
Joseph: Ok time to slp...by far overshot 12 am already.
[posted by Deepblue at 12:43 AM]
[Wednesday, August 06, 2003]
Been doing CIP the last few days as part of Med fac's orientation programme... Mon was a trip down to Clarke Quay with SAVH (Singapore Assoc for the Visually Handicapped) for bumboat rides, Tues was NUS' annual flag day, and today was the charity bazaar @ Youth Park.
Scattered thoughts about the past 3 days:
1) The Singapore River needs another clean up
2) There is but a thin line separating the fortunate of society from the unfortunate...what would happen to a doctor who lost his sight? Sometimes I think pple (like me) spend too much time griping when they should better appreciate what they have...
3) A tin can and stickers in hand will garuantee you alot of personal space
4) Now I know the existence of Youth Park
5) Adeline draws great Mickeys/Minnies Mice
6) Shanhan and Alex can sing very well; there are many talented pple in med. e.g. today's jugglers, guitarists, singers...
Spent 10 hours today at Youth Park in mostly aimless activity in an attempt to sell various sponsored items for raising of funds for charity. Honestly do not feel tt it was particularly successful, despite all the frenetic effort and energy put into it by everyone. Was pretty encouraged by the evident enthusiasm, and the seniors' support all the way from NUS to Orchard and back to NUS again, which is why I stayed til the end. While I debate the efficacy of the event at raising funds for charity, I doubt not the hard work pple put in to carry the charity bazaar through to it's end despite hiccups such as a bout of rain, and a distinct lack of customers (which I hope everyone else felt) Heh am I just making myself happier by consoling myself over a day seemingly wasted? I do not think so...I say bleah to those who believe only results and a successful outcome matter :) Life will be pretty meaningless then if you do not believe "process" counts at all...
[posted by Deepblue at 11:56 PM]
[Saturday, August 02, 2003]
Haven't blogged in a week thanks to Orientation activities this wk...have been slping at 1 am (mostly due to warcraft ending at 1 am when I tell myself at 10 pm that I'll sleep at 11) and waking up at 6 to attend the morning lectures (which have on average only abt half attendance...Maedhros has one of the highest attendance percentages...steady huh ;)) Lucky Sat no activity ^_^ This will be a long entry...if you bother to read through all of it, think of it as 1 week's worth of blogging...
Orientation stuff this wk was fun (despite the boring morning talks) from the OG outing to the games, the LAN session to the KTV session today, and all...Maedhros rocks, the new pple and medicampers alike =) Keep it going guys...
Random thoughts for 1st of August 2003:
1) Med textbooks are thick, expensive, heavy, and bulky
2) must finish Zhou Jie Lun's new CD tonight
3) I love Maedhros
4) Pple usually practise singing in the bathroom; I need to practise my singing; therefore I should bathe more often
5) I need exercise
6) Shouldn't have signed up for NUSSO auditions, probably going to embarrass myself since I haven't touched a viola this year yet (hey I dun even own my own viola, always used the sch instruments...^_^")
Happy thoughts aside, there have been many not-so-joyous things in life too to balance it out. When I found out that my mum was sick with flu when she came home on Tuesday, all I thought of saying was "Orh. Better quickly go rest la." and happily went back to sleep...had to wait until my dad was home b4 he took my mum to see the doctor. How much more of a goon can you be? -____- Wonder if I can successfully take care of my parents in the future... wonder if I can be a caring/observant doctor? Seem to be getting irritated more easily nowadays...have been getting more irritated than I should be with my parents' constant reminders over the past few days to check out things such as matriculation forms n procedures properly, to get a proper bk checklist, to come home earlier and all...sorry dad, sorry mum. I think I make a lousy son, despite knowing how much they love me, and how well they treat me.
Had a CT outing last sat, which will be the last time 01S76 of HCJC will be meeting together in a long while. Felt a sense of loss; some of my frens are leaving overseas to study, and tho I'm not close to all of them, I still wish I had the chance to know them better, and that they will be well overseas. Invariably they will grow and change, and come back as different people. Upon entering university/NS, everyone will change and the way we knew them as will no longer be valid.
For certain I know I will have less opportunity to remain close with non-med pple nowadays. Something my friend said struck a chord within me: "i seriously will be very happy if at the time I am 50, any of u are still my bestest frens..." I agree... yet for e.g. already I know I'm drifting a little from some of my closest friends serving their NS. Only change is constant; permanence is impossible, yet being the "fang4 bu4 xia4" type, I still wish for a level of permanence in the friendships I have now and not to lose them amidst the transience of everything in life. Pple will change as time passes, and if as a result u lose a fren tt's sad...but then it's up to you to arrange your life and relationships as you see fit...whether u maintain a friendship even if pple change/drift is up to you. It's easy to say but hard to do...I may fail to complete other things in life, but I hope I do not fail this.
I'm sure pple have heard abt the RJ girl who committed suicide last wk. How it directly affected me was tt one of my closest friends who was her classmate in RGS was depressed/shaken to the extent of skipping school among other things (which she would never do, in any other circumstance) I will not profess to be able to analyse why such a thing happened, nor condemn another's actions (or those of the pple ard her) wholly since I was not in her shoes after all, but what makes my friend sad affects me to an extent too. (Thankfully she's fine now) I know many pple who knew her were also affected as a result of such action, be it her family and friends, school, or even the psyche of society.
Moral? To be able to realise better how much your actions can affect other pple beyond your knowledge. Of course, it is difficult to think beyond the moment often when about to do anything. Who will know for sure until they are placed in a situation where they are required to think with clarity, after all...to me, I only hope that whenever pple are placed in situations where they can potentially act to affect many greatly (e.g. this...), the consequences of their actions will be realised more often before any action does occur. To me, I feel that would be...enough, if nothing else. My condolences to all affected by this, and wish that that girl will be happier wherever she is.
Oh, and for sth I have not asked permission to publicise, I vote for more social awareness/civic mindedness lessons for Singaporeans. (Edit: I realise I'm not old enough to vote. -_-)
Enough of my crap, congratulations if you slogged thru all of it... ^_^ will go listen to Jay Chou to cheer up. :)
N-De: hey man, thanks for visiting...though it's only been less than a week I'm glad to know pple like you, and the rest of Maedhros :) :) Friends forever! Heh wonder how many pple actually check someone's icq info when they add someone... besides pei lin, christine and you, dunno if any Maedhros pple have been visiting? Tho it does seems tt my hit counter has been increasing more quickly since medicamp... Hey if u have visited pls leave a comment/sign guestbook or sth, so I'll know who's ard here ^_^
[posted by Deepblue at 12:56 AM]